I was reading a psychology essay several months ago that discussed how children begin to assume a great deal about who they are supposed to be by seeing who their parents admire.  This piece asserted that if athletes are the only men dad admires then his son may begin to understand that he needs to be athletic in order to really matter.  Of course, I am paraphrasing the ideas expressed but the concept did give me pause.  For the first time I found myself asking:  As a parent who are my heroes?  Perhaps even more importantly, as the mother of an international adoptee who are my heroes?  If all my heroes are white what does that tell my children?  These thoughts brought me to consider Asian people who I admired deeply.  I am blessed to have quite a list of, not only historical figures, but dear friends who have touched my life considerably.  

On this trip to Thailand I was given the opportunity to study the life of one of my personal heroes. A woman whose powerful legacy continues to grow even in her death.  When my grandparents first brought me to Thailand, Chiang Rai was still mourning the loss of Her Royal Highness the Princess Mother, Princess Srinakarindra, who passed away in 1995.  Despite coming from rural poverty and being orphaned at age 9 the Princess Mother, King Bhumibol’s mother, worked hard to get an education and become a nurse. Her life story is like the plot of a movie. Orphaned girl, goes to a nursing school for the poor and wins a scholarship to study in America. While there she meets the young prince of Thailand at a reception for Thai students in America. He falls in love instantly and they end up marrying. Fortunately, Thailand doesn’t have any rules against royalty marrying commoners! She eventually survived the loss of her husband and her eldest son both at very young ages. She raised wonderful children and was an advocate for healthcare, literacy, education and hard work. In an era of increasing plasticity, she was dedicated to simple beauty and loved flowers, nature, sewing and reading. You can find
 a full english language biography of her here.

How I came to be aware of The Princess Mother’s work was through The Doi Tung Royal Villa where she 

built her dream home. It’s about an hour’s drive north of Chiang Rai and has the most beautiful gardens I’ve ever toured. The Royal Villa was built at Doi Tung for the Princess Mother to live in while she carried out her environmental and development work. On deciding to live there, Her Royal Highness told her private secretary, “If there is no Doi Tung Development Project, I will not have a house here.” She was 100% dedicated to bettering the lives of her subjects, especially rural and tribal people. Her work on behalf of the tribal people of Thailand, who have gone either forgotten or abused by the general public, almost brings tears to my eyes. On this trip one of my kids at our home (all of our girls are AKHA) told me proudly that her mother now had a job for the first time ever. She had gotten work through Doi Tung Coffee which sells delicious locally grown, locally worked Thai coffee out of the northern province. Almost all of those employees are tribal people who have never had the ability to support themselves before. In different places around Thailand, I saw four Doi Tung Project shops selling the most beautiful Tribal made handicrafts. Yes, for anyone wondering, I shop a lot in Thailand. 😉 The Doi Tung Project workshop provides on the job training and steady work for many of these people who have never been given a chance.

All of these social justice programs came from the heart and mind of the Princess Mother of Thailand. She fought for a people group that I love dearly.  She believed that the world could be made better; so she made it better. Even now, almost 14 years after her death, every time I return to Thailand I see more Doi Tung shops, more people going to the gardens and tribal learning and awareness center, more coffee being sold, I hear of more AKHA with jobs. I cannot think of anyone whose life I would more want my children to know that I admired than H.R.H. The Princess Mother of Thailand, Princess Srinakarindra.

– Rosemary
Something else that was very different for me on this trip to Thailand was how I viewed the girl’s rescue home I work with. I was viewing it with a fresh set of eyes.  Adoptive parent eyes.

Our home is widely considered to be one of the best group homes in Northern Thailand. Our facilities, an upper and lower campus, are gorgeous. Considering it’s an institution, we offer a huge variety of amenities to the girls such as: a library, computer labs, English lab, sewing room, tv rooms, playroom, basketball court, etc. We even have a talking bird and multiple doggies on campus. The girls all get fantastic birthday presents in the summer and Christmas presents in December. We will even pay to send them to college, vocational school, or nursing school if they can get accepted.  To top it all off, the majority of our staff are alumni of the home so they really get it.  They truly understand and can empathize with the life experience our kids are having.  They handle the girls social and emotional needs with infinite patience and gentleness.  

Long story short: It’s a great group home. If I had to grow up in an institution you can bet I would pick this one! However, how does it rank when compared to a family? I was really watching closely this trip. I don’t think I was searching for evidence to support a pro-adoption leaning.  Of course, maybe I was and I’m just less self-aware than I think.  I want to tell you about three things that happened though.

1.) I am very proud and pleased that many of our alumni come home for the holidays. It touches me that instead of hating every memory of their childhood in an institutional setting they pack a bag, buy a bus ticket and come see their old roommates and dorm mothers. They hug my neck and say, “Why you still work here? Get rich job in America!” They sit around in the kitchen and eat Akha food and play with the new little girls. It is their home and I am honored to be invited in. This year I was talking to one of our alumni who is turning into quite the little fashion designer in Bangkok. I told her how proud we all are and asked why she made the long trip back when she’s so busy. She smiled sadly and said, “Who else would I go to?”

2.) All of our little girls line up in the mornings before school. Our Children’s Director makes sure everyone’s uniform is clean and straight. Then we sing a few songs, do the multiplication tables, spelling words, Bible verse, remind everyone they are loved and walk them to school. We have more than 100 girls so this is as good as it gets to “having someone help you get ready for school”. On the way to school, the girls all pull on me grabbing for my waist, my hands, my arms. Just a chance to hold on. I’m so worried they’re not being hugged enough. How much is enough? They all want to know if I know their names. I feel terribly because I can’t remember every girl’s name. I just can’t. We have so many new little ones and it’s been a while since I’ve actually been at the home (I work in our US office). They are so thrilled when I know their names and so devastated when I don’t. Why? Maybe they need parents to love them and call their names everyday.

3.) My brother’s sponsor daughter is nine years old. He and his family have been sponsoring her since she arrived at our home several years ago. They send gifts and cards a couple of times a year. Her biological family situation was dangerous and she had to be removed. She has met Travis twice. He came last Christmas for two weeks and then again this year. She is a funny, sunny, cheerful, obedient little girl who everyone loves. The day we left Chiang Rai she hung onto Travis like a barnacle. She cried giant crocodile tears. She refused to go in the gate to school. She begged to know when he would return again. All in all, it was a heartbreaking display. Why? If she doesn’t need a family then why?

I support our home and the work we do 100%. I am very proud of our staff, our donors, and our girls who are the real heroes. However, I still say that no group setting, no matter how well run it may be, can take the place of a family unit. And yes, I do understand that adoptive families come with a less than ideal set of circumstances. But the purpose of family is not to be perfect, it’s to love each other just as we are and to be available for each day as it comes.

– Rosemary

Finally, my replacement USB cord has arrived! So here is a sampling of our trip to Thailand. Enjoy!!

Our House Mother and my dear friend, Jutiporn, with her 18 mon. old little boy.

Meena, one of our highschoolers, with her older sister, one of our alumni, who is now married and the mother of this adorable kiddo who just charmed us all and spent the week being spoiled rotten by everyone!
Travis with his sponsor daughter.
I double dog dared Travis to eat the Tuna-Corn fried pie at the Bangkok McDonalds!  HAHA!!
Our elementary girls performing the cutest nativity scene I’ve ever watched!
The Christmas Parade begins.
Stockings!!
Travis is a fierce competitor in the ping pong tournaments.  I am not asked to play.  😉
Our two sponsor daughters.  Teeda, has been with me since I was a “single mom” and she is a very special part of my life.  After we got married, Brian and I felt we could do more and received the honor of sponsoring little Patcharee!

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